You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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