Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
