bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
