I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
