brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
