What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
