Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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