She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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