i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
