I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
