At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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