Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
