So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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