Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
