im drinking this country out of the recession.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
