JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
