Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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