I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
