mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
