My sheets look like a crime scene.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
