just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
