New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
