Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
