Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
