If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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