I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize