my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
