I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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