the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You made out with two different species that night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
