She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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