Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
