oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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