I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
