how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize