used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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