He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
