I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
