Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
