half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
