And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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