I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
