She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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