Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize