you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
