ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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