I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
