Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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