but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
