I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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