all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
