I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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