Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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