Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
