im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
